To Ease The Pain
by Elven
Summary: "I cried myself to sleep that night... for a change."
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura is property of Clamp.

Note: For those of you, like me, who find Author's Notes annoying, they will not be in any of my chapters (excluding this one). More complete notes can be found in my bio.

**To Ease The Pain**

Elven

The trip home from school was in no way a grueling one. In fact, it was much to short. There are some things in the world I've come to hate: math exams and 'home'. Home... no, that isn't the word... It's... their house. Strangely, I felt something cold against my cheek. A tear.

I laugh it away to regain my normal, giddy composure. Laughing takes all of my problems away. It's so pure. Free. Somehow I feel as if it's how I'm supposed to be. But the truth is that math exams will always be there. No matter how hard I try to laugh them away. The numbers will still sit there, leaving my mind muddled on factoring and FOIL and supplementary angle. I sift uncomfortably trying to forget math...

I take my sweet time walking through the winding path that goes through the garden. I pick one of the peonies from the floor bed and hold it to my face to smell it's beautiful scent. Though Niang is cruel, her gardens are simply exquisite. I twirl the white flower around my fingers until, in a mindless state, put it behind my ear. I slowly, solemnly make my way up the stairs. Coming upon the oak doors, I trace my finger along the intricate carvings depicting age old battles where magic ruled.

My thoughts are inevitably interrupted when my foster mother's yells send me slamming back to reality. "Sakura, get inside this house! Now!" The same thing everyday, not that I mind much. No one in this neighborhood is very kind... Just the snobby rich folks.

The loving greetings continue when my spoiled, rotten foster sister, Mayen, demands me to do her homework. If Niang, my foster mother, wasn't there I might have walked away or just ignored her, but Niang's favoritism runs deep. I'm on the lower side.

"I'd be delighted to _help_ you with your homework," I responded in an outwardly happy voice. This family works as a hierarchy. The mother, the father, the little sister, the older brother, the older sister, and last and least, me.

Mayen retorted in her whiniest voice, "But I want you to _do_ it!" I could almost see a storm brewing around her as her temper rose. Her black hair moves in rough whips while her frozen blue eyes follow my every movement, burning with rage. Cold and stinging at the same time.

"If I do my homework for you, you would never learn. Then how would you bring honor to the family?"

"She's quite right, Mayen dear. Besides, god knows hear math is simply appalling," stated Niang. The one argument that sways my way, the honor issue. Followed by a standard insult. Niang's lip curled up into a smirk. Even this distortion of her features couldn't make her look even the slightest ugly. Her beauty is another of her brilliant qualities. All of which are outweighed several times by how she treats me. Her dark brown hair cascades down her back. Her eyes, which are a lighter shade of brown, are kind when she looks at everyone... excluding me...

Suddenly, my older foster sister and older foster brother walk into the room. One has a look of utter exuberance on her face. The other looks as if he's been smashed and thrown in the mud.

The girl, Kenza, bounces around and hugs everyone. My smile grew only bigger when she hugged me. Kenza's the only thing that keeps me going. She smiles at me... not smirking.

"What, dear child, has gotten you so ecstatic?"

"The captain of the soccer team was like totally checking me out!" Kenza is head cheerleader at her high school, and I at my middle school. She taught me to keep me ahead of the game. Oh! I forgot about Kenzo! Kenzo and Kenza are twins. They both inherited Niang's looks. Kenza is considered a teenage goddess at her school. I've seen soccer games pause because the players suddenly feel the overwhelming need to drool. Then someone scores.

Kenzo is, well, a player. He's said to be sensitive, kind, caring, and to top it all of incredibly hot. I can't see any of those in him. The only thing I see is a guy that brings home a different girl every night. I even remember one night when there were two different girls only in different rooms. That doesn't really count though because he said they were doing a middleman simulation.

I feel the prickling on the back off my neck. For some inexplicable reason I always feel safe when it's there. Sometimes when the air is calm and all is silent I care hear a voice saying "Kaijuu..." and somewhere in the back of my mind I remember, for a moment, that voice and where it came from. In those times I feel a sense of belonging, before the memories fade, and I am left, once again, alone.

Soon discussion dies down and I stow away to my room for a moment's peace.

I laid down upon my bed of tattered sheets to rest. My friend Kero beside me. The yellow plushy-like guardian always was there for me. He listens to my troubles. He and Kenza, but I prefer not to bother her with my problems... They're just a waste of her time.

The day, like all the others, had been a tiring one. After the gathering in the family room I had to do my chores. Fortunately, I got out of doing Mayen's homework. I could feel the drowsiness over taking my being but just before I fall into the void of sleep I hear the creaking of the warped floorboards.

I change from tired to alert and listen to the steps. The patterns of the steps are predictable. She's stepping lightly, so as to avoid unwanted company. Kenza... She isn't like the rest. Of course she acts like she despises the ground I walk on. Sometimes it really gets under my skin that she has such mixed signals, but I know there's a perfectly logical explanation. It would be stupid to show any feelings of sympathy for me, Niang and I aren't on the best of terms. I wonder what I did...

"Sakura?" I hear the faintest whisper of my name from the trap door that leads to the attic. As I look over the slimmer of dim light hurts my eyes, yet I see Kenza's head poking through.

"Come in..." I say, stirring groggily from my near rest. "What is it, Kenza?"

"Um...I brought you some dinner. I know you never get much."

"I get enough... but Kero might like something..." Yeah, Kenza knows about Kero, I wanted to talk to someone about it. I was really confused when I found him.

Though the room was dark I could somehow sense the grin forming on Kenza's face. "I thought so. When does he not need 100 pounds of food... a minute."

"Hey! I think that is a little bit exaggerated!" The yellow fur-ball zoomed around angrily at the thought of hi eating that much food.

"T-5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

"Well, I guess that much food wouldn't be _that_ bad."

"0." Kenza bowed to her loving audience in recognition of her amazing counting skills.

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at how well her sister knew Kero.

After handing the snack to the now drooling Kero, Kenza turned her attention to Sakura. "There's another reason I came up tonight..."

"What?" I helped myself to one of the apples that had been tossed to the way-side on the floor.

"Mother and Father are having some financial troubles... They're saying that they can't support anyone but the family..." She gave me a slight smile, but there was something in her eye... sorrow...? No that was just my imagination.

Thinking back on that night, I realize that there was something in her voice that was foreboding. A deep fear of hers coming to life... But knowing how I am, I listened completely oblivious to the picture.

I let any fears I held that night ebb away and listened to the crunching of Kero's eating and the retreating steps of Kenza's feet and the noises of the crickets chirping in the grass and then, without realizing it, I fell into the sightless world of the night.

The next morning I awoke to a gentle shaking, but soon noticed that Kero was putting his heart and should into moving me anyway that would raise me to a state of consciousness. "Oh so you finally decide to show your radiant presence in the world of the living," said Kero sardonically.

"Hey, I never did anything to you!"

"Except make me shake you for any hour or so."

"Hoe! Am I late for school?" In a blink of an eye I was up and running about taking a shower, which was incredibly hard to do because the bathroom was always in use, brushing my hair, getting dressed, and just all around getting ready.

As I told you before, the trip from home to school doesn't make me break out in a sweat. I was standing at the front gate of the school in next to no time. And in my chair shortly after.

"Glad to see your showing _on time_ today, Sakura." Falo-sensei had just walked in, placing his briefcase on the desk. "As I'm sure you all know, there's a pep rally tomorrow, which our lovely cheerleaders will be heading up..." He gave a nod of the head to Sakura, head cheerleader. "They've been asked to head down to the gymnasium to have some extra practice. Sakura, Dena you can go."

I stood up with another girl called Dena. She's pretty nice, and a stereotypical cheerleader. She has the greatest hair. It's soft, blonde, just under shoulder length.

We laughed all the way down the hall, remembering all of the amazing experiences of these past few years. Eighth grade already... I've been here for a few years. I've moved around so much I lost track of the time. 

Cheerleading practice was as always, fun and exhausting. I found something soon that wiped it from my mind. The house was different... Something was happening... Was it the swaying of the trees in there beautiful spring buds? Maybe the way that everything was so serene. Or maybe it's because I didn't hear that all too familiar yell of Niang's. I just knew.

I silently walked to the door and opened it just a crack as to not disturb anyone or anything that happen to be on the other side.

"Sakura, dear, come have a seat." If I needed anything to confirm my suspicions, this did it. Niang had a quality in her voice that left me...shocked. She had changed! I wonder what happened to make me deserve this. Everything seemed to be looking up for me!

Okay... maybe I wasn't thrilled when Kenzo started checking me out, but this is the first time I wore my cheerleading outfit to the house... I should cut him a little slack...

The next thing that happened... There are no words to describe it... Just listen to me tell you... 

"We're afraid you're just getting in the way of this family operating." My heart stopped, what had I done? "After careful consideration..." Hmmm? I never heard of a decision being made. "We have chose to send you to an orphanage. We don't have the resources to support you."

For a moment, all froze, my mind processed what I had heard. Soon reflexes kicked in. I left the room in tears. I hate them! All they did was scream after me saying, "You're to be off in the morning!"

More than one tear fell that night as I packed all of my ver few belongings into my bag. As each item found its way to my arms and I dusted it of, every story told came to memory.

I brushed my hands against the old blanket. I've had it such the beginning of time. I... I don't remember where I got it, but there's a sun-moon symbol weaved on it.

Then the time came to pack my one and only picture... Me and Kenza... We stood ontop of on of the buildings... There was a garden up there. They freshly bloomed sherry blossoms swayed in the evening breeze. The stars twinkled in the sky, a becon of hope in my lost world. We were leaning against the railing staring of to the stars. Kenzo took the picture... back when he was still nice. A fresh wave of tears spread over my cheeks and hands. My tears mingled with the dust and made a sticky paste.

I cried myself to sleep that night... for a change.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura is property of Clamp.

**To Ease The Pain**

Elven

I woke up that morning, but felt much more content to just lie there. I could just picture in my mind's eye all of the cheerleaders dancing around. Big smiles plastered on their faces... Probably happy that I wasn't there. I bet they were all swapping ideas on why I wasn't there. Maybe they thought I chickened out... Is that better or worse than the reality? I bet they would use this as an excuse to kick me of the team. I would rather be kicked than leave. 

I reached back and used my arms to prop myself up. The room was so empty, so desolate. What little that had been in the room to make it home was stashed away in the old suitcase. The old, warped floorboards were now completely exposed. 

As I looked at my face in the mirror, I saw that my eyes were red and puffy from all the crying I had done last night. That will never do. If I'm to be forced into moving I might as well make a good first impression. 

Father drove me to the airport, he was going to Hong Kong, where my orphanage is, mainly for business, but he also _said_ he would help me get settled in. Kero was safely stowed away is my pack. As we drove along, we passed so many places that I knew I would come to miss. Like the middle school. The school itself wasn't particularly beautiful, but the people inside were the only ones who cared, they gave me a home. The park... The trees swayed in a passing breeze. Petals fell and danced in the wind's waiting arms. So serene, but dead... Where were the children who ran and laughed on the jungle gym? 

The airport was bustling with all different types of people. Tall, short, fat, thin, white... and the list just goes on and on. The first thing we did was wait in a long line. When we got to the front the lady took my bag, and I watched it slide down the conveyer belt. My hand instinctively reached into my pack, which I was allowed to keep. It was very simple and hung around my shoulder. Relief spread through my body when I found Kero resting peacefully in the pack. 

I don't know how long we sat, waiting in the cold, plastic airport chairs. I stared into space hoping that maybe something would change. Maybe, just maybe, I could stay here. It isn't the best place in the world, but it's... familiar. 

"Flight 596 to Hong Kong. Flight 596 to Hong Kong is now boarding." The lady's voice sounded over the intercom. She was speaking in that way to sweet voice; the one where you know she's only doing this to get a paycheck. 

The flight to Hong Kong wasn't terrible. This wasn't my first time on a plane; I was used to the turbulence. This was, however, the first time I was deprived of the window seat. For the first time, I couldn't stare out the window and say good-bye to a place that for so long had been home. I also couldn't see the picturesque view of the Hong Kong sea line coming into view. 

When the plane landed and father and I had step out, I saw a small group of girls with a strict looking older woman. All of the girls were in uniform. Their shirts were white blouses with puffy sleeves, a greenish brown tie and, a greenish brown pleated skirt. I think there was only five of them, but there wasn't much time to think. 

I was hurried over to the old lady. "My name in Ms. Zen-ling. These are the other orphans in the school." She gave a lazy wave to the girls. "You stay here while I talk to your foster father." The two walked just out of hearing distance. That was the last time I ever saw him. 

"I'm Sakura..." I was very nervous. I would not be the least bit surprised if I was visibly shaking. 

One of the girls step forward and smiled warmly. As she held out her hand, she said, "Chiharu." I accepted her hand, but I was still rather stiff. "Ms. Zen-ling appointed me to tour you of some of the city. Rika and Naoko will be coming with us. First we'll have to get your uniform. We can get it from Daidouji's Shop. They are the best designers! Though it's really a toy store." 

Ms. Zen-ling came back and my foster father was nowhere in sight. I guess he left while we were talking. "Your bag will be taken to the room you will be staying in. Chiharu, Rika, and Naoko will be your tour guides. Good-bye." She and the other two students walked swiftly in the direction of the food court. 

The shop was simply amazing. The clothing section was near to the back, but the styles were breath-taking. Unfortunately all I could get was the school uniforms. Kind of dull. All the clothes were designed by someone in the Daidouji family. I wasn't quite sure who. Everything was imported from a place in Japan. That name why do I think I remember it. Something just clicks when I hear that name... Daidouji... 

After I had changed, we began to walk around the area. There wer many houses and offices buildings and there was the most amazing park. The jungle gym was huge. It had a slide which connect at the side. Even though it was quite imposing, the most beautiful thing was the forest. 

An elegant path streamed through a sea of old elm trees. The green leaves were lush and bright. I could've stayed forever in the shadow of the magnificent structures of nature but Chiharu insisted we keep going. "The place we live is just down the street from here. You can come when ever you want." 

I beamed when she said that. I love parks, they're always magnificent and pure, gold. 

We started to walk down the street, going in the opposite direction of the school. The silence was uncomfortable... The streets were bustling with people going every which way. A lot of them seemed to be coming in and out of a big, _big_ building. I pointed at it and asked, "What's that?" 

Rika answered because Chiharu was to busy blushing and stuttering about, well, I'm not quite sure. "That's the Li Mansion. We'll be going there next. They have tours through part of it." 

As we came through the front gate I spotted an elaborate sign that read: 

Next tour begins at 1700.

I peered around knowing that I had missed something, "What are we going to do for the next 30 minutes?" 

Chiharu was looking around as if she had lost something, "Uh... We can look around the gardens!" 

Rika whispered something to Naoko, but I could only pick up the words true love and Yamazaki. 

The front garden was more beautiful than the purest pearl in the sea. Even a rainbow after a May shower had nothing. The peonies were scattered around the bed giving it a look of disarray. Pieces of stone wound their way through plants. It seemed as if the beauty went on for ever. 

There was a rustling from the other side of the path and a boy about my age emerged. "Yamazaki!" Chiharu screeched and ran over and hugged the boy. He fell over from the force of the jump and land in some of the flowers, consequently squashing them. 

"Yamazaki, those flowers are supposed to be well kept." A brown haired boy had just appeared behind the bend in the path. He had the most annoying frown on his face. 

Both Chiharu and Yamazaki scrambled to stand up. Rika and Naoko bowed follow shortly by Chiharu. The boy's amber eyes turned to me expectantly. "Hoe?" I was absolutely clueless. Was I supposed to do something? 

Chiharu leaned over and whispered, "That's Li Syaoran, and he's the future leader of the Li Clan." I looked at her, still not quite sure what was happening. "Bow!" 

"Oh!" I bowed deeply and noticed that the boy was still looking rather annoyed. "Sorry, sir." Then he just brushed by me as if I didn't exist, rich people...

"Did you know that bowing was originally created so royalty could tell if you were hold a weapon behind your back to assassinate him..." Yamazaki stopped talking when Chiharu hit him over the head and dragged him away until he went to follow he rich guy.

The rest of the tour was nothing special. The house did seem to be just magical. Everything radiated with glory, and Rika agreed when I told her. They were ather gardens that we got to see, but I know we didn't see them all. I caught a glimpse of a cherry blossom tree over a high fence. 

We were back at the boarding school, as I had just found out it was. Since it was currently spring break the only pupils left in the building were the orphans. It was dinnertime. The table we sat at was much too large for just the five of us; the teachers preferred to eat elsewhere. 

One girl who sat at the end of the table snobbishly held out her hand and said, "I'm Jaclyn, and you may want to... stay out of my way." I opted to accept the hand, but she then backhanded me across my cheek. I winced but did not cry... I will never cry... I will never cry. I will _never_ cry. 

I went to sit at the opposing end of the table. Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, and the other girl followed me. I was too busy controlling myself to notice until I heard an unfamiliar voice say, "I'm very pleased to meet you. Don't worry about Jaclyn; it's just the way she is. I'm Bell. Strange name, I know." 

I reached out to shake her hand, and felt my forlorn look fade to happiness. "Sakura." The meal continued from there on a happier note. Jaclyn sat, forgotten, on the other side of the infinite table. Discussion ranged from the weather to popular cute guys, where I felt very left out because I didn't know any of the Hong Kong stars. 

The others saw I was a little distracted by Jaclyn because one, I think it was Naoko, said, "Don't worry about her. She's friends with the popular boarders and Ms. Zen-ling likes her because her parents were filthy rich before they died. Ms. Zen-ling is one for favorites. Among the orphans she has two." Naoko eyed Bell, she was saying something through her motions. I didn't understand. 

"Yeah, unfortunately she likes me, but I hate that bi- hehehe..." Chiharu had just slapped Bell over the head. "I'm trying to cut down on the... uh.... inappropriate language." Bell was not as her name would have her. She had long blonde disorderly hair. Her reckless dark green eyes with brown spots seems always to be laughing, scheming some plan to get back at an enemy. "Do you know what room you'll be in?" 

"Bell, we're bunked six to a room, of course she's with us." Rika, the one will the shoulder length flowing dark brown hair, answered. 

"Is Jaclyn in our room?" I asked, uncertain on whether I would get any sleep. 

Chiharu shifted awkwardly, "Yes, unfortunately, but she's normally to busy to notice us though." 

We left the dining hall and wound our way though a labyrinth of hallways. The room wasn't all that small, though with all of the furniture it was quit cramped. Two triple bunks were placed at the back of the room. Nearer to the front were six desks. Each desk and bed had their own personality. 

I noticed Bell check the growth of some type of fungi. "You know, I really ought to clean this up on occasion." Four of the desks had been grouped together, leaving one desk cluttered with posters of stars and another that was just stashed in the corner. Nothing special. 

Chiharu pointed to the plain desk and said, "That one's yours. And the bottom left bed." 

My bags had been brought up so I went into the bathroom and changed into my pajamas. As I laid down on my bed a single sickening thought came to mind... Kero. What would I do if I don't have a place for him to stay? I was too tired, I fell asleep with no solution. 


End file.
